


deserving half your heart

by Night_shark_out



Category: Original Work
Genre: Denial, Eventual Sex, Eventual mpreg, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Plot Twists, Rivalry, chase is playing hard to get, no mpreg yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 07:30:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1596644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_shark_out/pseuds/Night_shark_out
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chase Brooks:<br/>Chase Brooks is a 17 year old boy with needs, okay? Don't judge him for what he is. Chase knows what he wants in a guy, and YES I said guy. Chase Brooks is currently gay and has his sights set out on Jesse Clarkson, his ex best friend...</p><p>Jesse Clarkson:<br/>Jesse Clarkson is douche, a mega one at that. he's just a 18 year old boy who is known around as the town bad boy. 'Mr. demon king' as they call him. and as you will read Jesse can hate with a burning passion, he can also hold a grudge.</p><p> But Jesse only has one enemy in particular a certain girl named Audrey that has stolen the attention of a certain cutie pie.</p><p>THIS STORY IS INSPIRED BY 'AN EYE FOR AN EYE' BY DORNUU AND RE WRITTEN BY ABREYONNAB</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jesse's pov

Damn, my face hurt...and I felt sucky, like Carl on good day. Carl wasn't a person that I actually knew but doesn't it sound like a guy named Carl would have bad luck?

yep, I felt like a freaking Carl, with all this dramatic bull I've been put through with Melissa's sick and twisted pay back for Audrey, and Audrey's control over Chase, and Chase being Chase, and my dad always leaving and never coming home....

I'm tired of this distance and all the feuds I go through. What's in the past should stay in the past, but I can't seem to get this out of my head.

I sighed as I lye in my bed, and replayed the events of yesterday. I raise my hands over my head and tug at my hair as I lay my arms over my eyes, trying to control my breathing and slow down my thoughts. 

My head was spinning rapidly.

What happened with Audrey was wrong, I was just going with the flow. Following Melissa like I was one of her puppets, a mother fucking robot of her's. I wasn't Bailey and Paula, I wasn't gonna listen to another word she'd utter.

It was all Melissa's idea anyway, but I wasn't any better. I went along with everything she said.

Me and Chase were friends in love, well at least I was any way...

I looked across my room and saw my picture of us together, from summer camp. It felt like it was so long ago, like we were apart for an eternity.

Remembering how soft his skin felt under my touch, I bite my lip softly and muffle my moans. I was desperate for his contact, always have been- always will be.

That boy got me hot and bothered every time and now that I looked down on it- I had a raging hard on standing at attention in my little Calvin Klein briefs. Yes, I was more on the slim side than anything.

I was normal in size though, if you know what I mean...

I regret all the things I didn't do and always wished- I still wish that we spent more time together. If only we just held hands under the moon light one last time. During our time at summer camp I was confident that I was in love with him at the time, I still am. We would stay up past curfew and sneak out into the woods to watch the stars, but only on Friday nights.

He liked the way the stars sparkled on a Friday night.

The sky would get dark and turn a twisted purple with a tint of dark royal blue. My light blue eyes never quite matched the color of the sky, they actually stood out in quite a lot of places.

I couldn't hid in the dark With eyes like that, let alone hide from Chase himself.

He told me that the night was always his favorite time a day. The darkness would start to close around us at sun set and I still remembered when he told me that when ever he looked up into the sky the moon would remind him of his pet bunny, rooster.

Chase was my 'happily ever after' in a way that I couldn't explain, it just felt so definitely right to be by his side. Once upon a time me and chase were really close, we hung out over the weekend and he loved to come over to my house and lye in bed with me while we cuddled.

I would stay up after hours, even after he fell to sleep I would sit up in bed and watch as he curled up beside me. 

And me being the submissive bastard I was- I would curl into his side and smell his axe cologne in the middle of the night, he always woke up before me the morning after but he would never move in fear of waking me up.

Now me and chase have grown apart and he wears something new, he's no longer my protector...

But you know, not all fairy tails have a happy ending.

My father didn't exactly approve of the fact that I loved chase the way I did, he was actually quite angry at the fact that I would like the idea of kissing a guy. but he could care less about my feelings. especially after Claire moved in.

Claire was my fathers wife of the year. she was plump and preppy all the freaking time, she had wide hips and soft mocha colored skin. she was beautiful in every way, and if I could pick a mom that I would want to keep it would be her. Dad was never home and she cooked dinner for me, cam, and Owen every night...

I looked up at the ceiling and stared at the picture I kept up there, who it was, was my little secret... 

I should've thought about my actions, I went along with everything Mellissa said and got myself into this mess.

Chase had a good left hook on him and I definitely respected that. He had every right to hit me, I was a jerk and I deserved it. I was absolutely disgusting and I needed someone to give me a wake up call. Not only did I sit back and watch them mistreat Audrey but I also led her into their trap.

i never had any interest in Audrey, but chase did. when ever we use to hang out she would come and ruin it with her...shyness.

I watched chase's every move and it seemed like he never noticed, he was too far gone with her.

I fisted my sheets as I thought of the looks he threw her, unsubtly loving her. I bite my lip thinking of him loving that- loving that skank!!! she wasn't worth his love. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate Audrey I just disliked the fact that he gave her all of his attention. Making his life hell was the only way I knew how to love him, but he always held a special place in my heart.

I never liked any of those other girls, they dressed like sluts and acted half dead. It's like they didn't know how to have genuine fun. Their idea of fun was tormenting others and humiliating the weak. I didn't need to be apart of that.

I lye in my bed for a few more seconds before I roll onto the floor and lay face first on my Brazilian walnut wooden floors. I was a fucking failure at life, even if I had it all.

I stayed on the floor like that for about ten minutes, before I got bored and had to get ready for school. again.

I stood from the floor and stretched all the muscles in my body, cracking my bones and rolling my neck until I could feel pain flare up inside my body. I sighed as I heard the bones in my spin cackle and my shoulder blades crunch.

I stood on the tips of my toes and touched my feet before I walked over to my wardrobe across the room from the bed.

My house was significantly big... MEANING huge, better than your house, and altogether beautiful. I had a queen sized bed that sat on my beautiful floor with a tempur pedic mattress and black silk sheets to match. I had fluffy white pillows and huge mirror that took up a whole wall of my room. All of the blankets in my house were all Willoughby Siberian black goose comforters, and they were dearly loved considering they costed over a thousand dollars. And that alone made me better than you ever wished you could be, so suck it.

I opened the door to my smooth black wardrobe and grabbed the first pair of clothes that I saw. which were a pair of black skinny jeans and a stripped shirt that matched, on the shirt was a small symbol that resembled a moose, it was Abercrombie.

I shrugged my shoulders and went into the bathroom to change into the clothes. I looked around my bathroom, nonchalantly. I had a high ceiling and a wall mount fountain sink, for when I've fangirled way too hard. 

I had a cubical shower and beautiful design on my bathroom wall. everything in there was pretty, white, and all for me. I didn't waste time putting on the snug fit outfit, showing off my well earned muscle and fitting form.

I looked over myself in my full length mirror and smiled. I liked what I saw, I shook out my auburn hair and fluffed it out at the top, my blue eyes went perfect with it. I mean, perfection doesn't just happen it takes hours of devotion and dedication a day.

I knew I wasn't the most beautiful man in the WORLD but at least I was handsome enough to make it in a teen vogue magazine. I had light blue eyes and dimples when I smiled, my eyebrows were kinda bushy and I had defined cheek bones. I was the definition of sexy, not to mention my perfect bum.

I may be a football player but I wasn't as big as chase, in height or muscle mass. but as a perk I wasn't particularly thin either, I had a fair amount of muscles and my body was quite toned for someone who weighed so little.

I was a pro in biology and knew exactly why I couldn't gain more muscle right away, I had a very high metabolism. plain and simple.

I walked out of my room and grabbed my new messenger bag that I brought the other day before the party started. I didn't need any puke in my bag so I had my butler David to drop it off at home, dad wouldn't be home til late that night and I didn't have a specific curfew.

"Time to return to hell, where I rule the underworld..." I huffed as I locked my door and walked out of my room, mentally cursing myself for forgetting my phone and IPad. my friends always thought it weird of me to have a hot pink iPhone that had the fluffy pink kitten from adventure time printed on it's back.

I had to take cam laughing at me and Owen saying- and I quote!!! "nigga, you gay." I still cant believe he did it with a straight face.

Owen isn't the kind of person that talks a lot, he always wore the same bored expression and hated everything that breathed the same air as he did. To the people around us It looked like this loud, hyperactive, boy projecting his anger on to others; making himself feel better in the process. But It was none of that sentimental stuff, he was just angry at the world we lived in.

One moment he would be completely fine and then all of a sudden he'd get so angry that he'd punch holes into any thing in his presence. A door, a wall, a desk, a board, almost anything that he could let his anger out on.

Cam on the other hand was the fun loving pup of the group projecting a silent, dead sort of aura. Ever since Cam lost his dad he just wasn't the same, always mopping in dark corners wanting to be alone when ever people that weren't me or Owen came around.

He always freaked out when someone touched him, even slightly...

'I hope he gets better...' I thought to myself as I walked down the stairs, grabbing a coffee and a chocolate covered croissant on the way out the large French doors and into my backyard.

I always took the back ways when I drove my motorcycle or took one of the Italian sports cars specifically. I walked around our built in rectangular pool and the Jacuzzi, into the garage to get my red MTT gas turbine super bike.

I slung my bag over my shoulder after putting in my breakfast and putting a lid over my coffee.

I slung my leg over the bike and drove off to school, another day til the beginning of the end...


	2. chapter2: those lies she told me, feeding me her crap.

Jesse's pov

It took me exactly 30 whole minutes to make it to school, and it only got worse because I was still in traffic at the moment.

My coffee was sure to be cold and I only had 15 minutes til the first bell rang for home room.

My phone was buzzing off the charts and vibrating right near my private area's from the bottom of my back pocket. My bag was strapped tight across my chest and I could feel the letter I wrote for chase burning a hole through my front pocket.

A week before the stupid party was even thought of I wrote him a letter, expecting to get an opening of his time at the party when It finally was mentioned. unfortunately for me he never came inside until the very end, where he beat me to a pulp...

 

 

Cam was blowing up my phone about some girl that had just walked into school, which was pretty lame to me; I wouldn't want to know about her anyway. 90% of the texts were about how often she breathed air, talked, walk, and so on, and so on...

Owen called me to tell me that chase and Audrey had just made it. and I damn near died right there on the side of the road from hyperventilation. I meant to give him the note today.

 

I sighed as I waited for the next car to pull up- even if it was just by a little, but whenever I breathed I fogged up the shield of my helmet. I shivered and let out large puffs of air as I sat on my bike, waiting for movement to come.

After about- a whole 30 more minutes I was out of traffic and back on a freeway close to school, I was already late and I needed the time to myself anyway. I needed time to think about what I would do when I finally got the chance to see chase again. I drove thinking of my first steps to forgiveness, though I didn't deserve it.

When I made it to school I was already late, pulling up into the large parking lot and immediately kick standing my bike and running into the school. I had already missed first period by an hour or so and I had exactly 2 minutes til I was late for second period, coach would kill me if I so much as missed one moment of practice.

You see, Me, Cam and Owen weren't called the jock's just for our names, we lived up to our expectations even if it seemed kinda cliché in a way.

I was the captain of the football team, Cam was soccer and Owen was basket ball. we ruled this school in that way alone, but chase was into multiple sports. He was captain of the track team and went to the Olympics last year for aquatics. He was a 2 year champion in the games and held the trophy for two years straight.

Every time I heard about it, I felt like I could throw up, I wasn't invited to any of those occasions yet Audrey always sat front row.

I walked through the big glass doors and went straight to my next class. I looked around me and sadly I didn't have trouble getting through these kinds of crowds, while Audrey got pushed and shoved around every corner. High school was cruel to her, but I don't feel too much remorse because of the fact that she had stolen my man from me. we were so close to being together, I was right on my game plan to ask him out when she just waltz up and steals him away.

I make it through the crowd with little event and got to my locker before the bell rang for gym, I put away my spare clothes and my new shoes, keeping my bag on my back at all times.

I don't get time to drink my coffee and casually toss it into a nearby trash can, letting some splash on a nearby pedestrian. Ignoring his useless protests I uncaringly kept walking until I made it to gym and opened my croissant that I had packed for breakfast. I didn't even get to take the first bite before I heard a loud and gruff voice shout my name.

"CLARKSON! get your ass in my office, now!" he shouted towards me, stopping only a few students in their tracks. I rolled my eyes at the same exact time that he turned his back, which was a save on my part, considering he would make me run laps until the end of class.

I walk into his office and took the first bite from my breakfast, which was quite delicious by the way. His office was a small and cramped little space that reeked of sex and alcohol, it had a large desk and a small door that led to each locker room boys and girls. Mr. kipper kept the key around his neck at all times and used it to his advantage when ever he got the chance.

Some times- if you spare a side glance towards his office door you can see him looking in and watching you get dressed.

 

"What?" I said in a dead and dull tone, I grimaced at the sight in front of me. coach was standing over the desk with his back to me, his tight shorts were riding up into the crack of his butt. I WORE THE SAME DAMN SHORTS AS HIM YET HE ALWAYS PICKED THE SMALLEST PAIR HE COULD FIND!!!

"Do you know why I called you in here today, Clarkson?" he said, making it seem like I was some kind of nuisance. the only thing my mind was screaming me to say was 'to rape me?" but I bite my tongue and refrained from getting myself another detention.

My calves were still burning from the last set of laps I had to run, I knew damn well why he made me run them too. He liked the view of my perfect ass and girlish frame. lololololo- he gets no head.

"Because I was...late?" that was the only reason I could think of at the moment- give me SOME credit!

"Exactly that Clarkson, you were late! and all morning I've had to deal with your first period teacher nagging in my ear about you missing your mid-terms! I hoped you studied too because in a week you will have to retake them!" Mr. Kipper shouted, mocking me as he finished his speech and turned around.

 

 

I sure as hell didn't hold myself up!!! I was stuck in traffic for an hour, I cant control that!

But instead of complaining I just stood there and placed my hands in the pockets of my shorts, my face was still completely blank and I could feel my anger boiling over. I had already finished my food and my face was a sickly calm when I smile, I plastered the fakest smile I could muster onto my face.

"I'll try to do better." I nodded as I turned to leave.

cam and Owen met me in the hall as I made my way out cam looked worried and on edge while Owen on the other hand looked smug, like he was gonna basically say I was gay. -_-

I mentally prep my self for things like that, he barely spoke but when he did he sounded like he was born and raised in south park. he was the cartman of the group, cam was craig and I was tweek. and yes- I ship Craig x tweak.

"Are you okay, Jess-boo?" Cam pouted, and he was dead serious when he said it too. for someone who claims to be straight he was pretty gay. he listened to one direction and absolutely loved the color blue- which he called bleu de France.

He had this cute pet name for me, Jess-boo.

"Ewwwww. ya'll niggas is gay." Owen said, and I knew he would say it. Owen was a hypocrite, he was head over heels in love with cam who was the only straight one of the group and he always found a way to call me gay.

"Shut up the hell and lets go." I said through ground teeth, I had to keep my tongue bitten just not to yell at him.

I threw dirty looks towards Owen all the way through class and didn't say a word to him until the end of it, but that is exactly where the drama started. I saw chase just waltzing down the hall and I couldn't resist, I just had to walk up and try to make this right. he messed up my face pretty bad in the fight and I was bumped up around the edges.

I waited at the door until the bell had rang, staring at him none the less.

I had raced back into the locker room and threw my bag into my locker, smoothing out the front of my clothes before I raced back to where I last saw chase. I was fully dressed in my normal clothes when I made my way down the hall, following chase and Audrey. to the average person it would look normal, to someone who knew me it would look stalker-ish.

 

 

I could hear them talking but it sounded like the were talking about graduation.as usual it was chase who was the girls savior and cheered her up when she was feeling low.

For a few more minutes they talked about the summer that was no where near this time of year and I listened in for a few more seconds, letting them finish their conversation. But that was before- before I saw something that completely stopped me in my tracks and shattered my heart a million times... the slut had kissed him!

I had to do something to stop it an di couldn't just let her continue, but I couldn't think of anything fast enough- uhhh!!! I looked up at chase and tried to think before he said anything life changing and at the moment he said it I found something.

"I-I think I m-might--" he stared but I wouldn't let him finish- I wouldn't let him break my heart again today.

"hey, can we talk?" I blurted as soon as I could, knowing full well I just wanted to ball up in a corner and die. they both turned to me at the same exact time and I knew I had messed up big time, Audrey was mugging me and chase was sending me death glares.

My chase...

"If you really think i'm going to let you talk to her, you've got another thing coming." chase growled and I could see the fire in his eyes. but I couldn't just let him talk to me like that in front of the whole school I wasn't a wimp...

"Shut the hell up, chase." I spat as I looked back to Audrey, I needed this to look convincing. "Audrey what I did to you was terrible and i'm sorry. I regret doing it and-" I was cut off by chase, but I didn't really mind considering I meant none of what I said.

"Cut the bull crap Jesse." chase called my bluff, he knew me all to well. "You pretended to be her friend, spilled beer on her and watched Melissa humiliate her. now, you come here and say you're sorry?!"

Little by little a crowd started to form and I got anxious at the thought alone, I slipped my hand into my pocket. Almost forgetting the note, until my finger brushed en edge of the paper and my hands started to sweat.

I bite my lip and wiped the palm of my hand on the legs of my pants, hopefully no one will notice my anxiety and they'd all shrug it off as the heat getting to me. 

"Look what we did was supposed to be as stupid joke." I defended."i didn't expect it to go that far! Yes, I admit Melissa went too far!" I shouted at him knowing he would have a smart remark. trying to put me in my place.

"Then why didn't you say something earlier?" he questioned me, he was putting so much pressure on me.

"Audrey, i'm sorry. can you ever forgive me?" I pleaded knowing full well that I could care less about her acceptance or her existence in general. she didn't deserve his love...

"I-I-I uh.." Was exactly what she said, she was pathetic- she acted like I was gonna eat her or something.

"That's why you got beat up by a junior!" chase randomly shouted, I knew he was trying to entertain the crowd, Melissa was watching. I rolled up my sleeves and gave him the death glare of the century.

"Well you're about to get jumped by a senior." I warned him, I knew he couldn't take the warning. he was always looking for trouble and despite our height difference I could throw a few punches too. I lifted up my arm, ready to throw the first punch when I suddenly felt a pair of strong, calloused hands grab ahold of my arm.

"What the fu-" I started but he was already talking over me.

"My office." He barked and I cringed at the sound of his voice, he sounded like a blow horn. His face was bright red as he stared at us and he turned his head over to chase and glared. "You too Brooks."

We were dragged down to principle jones office by the big man himself. I knew Claire would give me a good talking to when I got home, she was born and raised in Russia and I had perfected my Russian accent and I learned Russkij yazyk. Which was the Russian language and it was a Slavic language.

I was so gonna get her back for this, and even though it made me sound like Regina George I was gonna use all of my power to get her back- she will not get my man, nor the upphand...


	3. through the dark

Cam's pov

> I've been pacing this damn floor for hours and I haven't found this girl yet. She just completely disappeared and I keep side glancing over to Owen. I can literally feel him staring at me, I even thought I saw him licking his lips in my direction.

But Owen was a complete homophobe and I cant come out and tell Jesse that I liked him. Even though Jesse is gay I still feel weird when I'm around him, some time.

It would make me look like a complete idiot if I were to just walk up to him and kiss him, without him wanting it, he would just turn me down in front of everyone. Like that time with bailey, and even Melissa....

One day we went over to Jesse's house and over heard him yelling at Melissa about them being just friends, but he told her that he was In love with someone else. Three days later someone told bailey that it was chase and she used that to black mail jess.

Their relationship just hasn't been the same since Melissa has been holding it over his head, I knew it was the reason he did that to Audrey along with his own selfish reasons.

"You've been pacing the floor for hours idiot, sit your ass down and breathe for a second. Jesse is okay, and you didn't marry the fucking girl." Owen sighed and rolled his eyes as he sat on top of my car.

"Shut up and get your ass off my car! I didn't say I was married to her." I snapped at him and folded my arms across my chest. Jesse had been sent to the office for fraternizing with chase again, that boy was bad news and kept jess-boo running at all times. the way Jesse tripped over his words just at the thought of the taller, well-built, sophisticated, beautiful, athletic....- wait where was I ? oh- yeah. chase. the lad was bad news...

"Why are you so pressed about this, she a hoe anyway..." he mumbled as he slid off my car, to me it looked like he was taking his sweet time so I took matters into my own hands. I push Owen off the hood of my new bleu de France Bugatti Veyron. But don't worry- I dusted off the hood after he hit the ground, so the car was okay.

"Shit!" he cursed "Your lucky I love- this spot. or I'd stand up and punch you.." He rushed out as he stood from the ground. I raised my eye bows and smirk. he was a complete idiot...

"Um, Owen, you do know you're standing right next to me, right?" I said with a pointed look.

Sometimes I worried about the poor boy, he needed me like he needed air and without me he'd be dead some where in a ditch on the freeway.

Owen frowned at the realization and I giggled like a freaking school girl. "where would you be without me..." I giggled and he smirked, I knew what was coming next and ran.

"How dare you talk back to someone like ...THE TICKLE MONSTER?!!!!" he shouted in a fake monster voice and smiled. I sprinted to the closest place I could find, which was the woods and I hid behind one of the thickest trees I could find.

'He'll never find me here' I thought and giggled as I heard him looking around for me, and he walked right past me!

I instantly shut my mouth and smiled as I saw him shift his head to the side.

"Where could my love bug have gone, I cant seem to find him anywhere?" he shouted into the air and looked around the back area of the woods. Suddenly my mind was blank and I couldn't breathe, I was in a trace of love...

 

Owen was such a silly boy.

In front of me couldn't be the same boy who called me gay till no end, the same guy that everyone feared and steered clear of at all times. This boy couldn't be the same boy that lost both of his parents in a fire when he was only 13, he couldn't be the same boy who started smoking at the age of 14 and tried to kill himself not once- but 3 times before.

 

Helping him cope with the pain was hard for me, considering the stuff that I was trying to get over myself.

The first time that Owen and I met- Owen and I were only 7 years old and he was strolling down the isle of the grocery store with his parents, picking up every item in sight. But we had long out grew that age, we were now 17 years old and both of his parents were now dead. no need to dwell on the past.

My body went rigid, and froze completely as I realizes what was happening at the moment. I could feel another persons breath on my neck and I could feel steady and strong hands placed sturdily on my chest.

"Found you..." I heard the person purr as I felt the persons breath on my ear and even though it was odd to think, I loved the way this person smelled. They smelled like home, where my mummy was waiting for me, where was no more daddy, where he couldn't hurt us anymore. this person made me feel secure...

So you see, I was raped and or sexually assaulted at the young age of only 8 years old. And guess who got 20 years in prison for it? not my father who actually did it, that's who.

It all started when I was 7 years old.

He would come into my room after he was done with my mummy, he would hit her and call her names but whenever I tried to stick up for her he would hit me too. It was dark that night and it was just passed midnight when I heard my door open and shut, I could hear the lock on my door turn and foot steps come towards my bed.

He didn't even talk to me before he slid into my bed, no sweet whispers, no reassurance. He just took me and didn't so much as tell me he was sorry. He touched me and himself that night and in the dark, I sobbed as I heard him leave right after.

The next morning he made me clean my room, clean up the mess he made on my bed and hit me when I cried about it.

Soon I started to feel my hands tighten and I could hear myself sobbing, though I wasn't alone this time. When did my face fall, when did I grab ahold of Owen's shirt, where was I?

Back then me and my family were poor, we lived in a small broken apartment on the fifth floor in new York. Most times I would come home to no food in the house and blood splattering the wall, some days there would be glass all across the floors and holes in the wall and some days no one would be home...

At the time I had already been to social services twice and I would have to spend some nights with neighbors. Most nights I couldn't sleep at night and I would heard shouting and my mom's struggles from the next room. My dad would have his friends come over and they would do things to her, some days she didn't walk or talk, she never really ate after the first time it happened.

Back then I was wondering what the word 'slut' meant, I would stand in my room and wear my mothers white heels; feeling as beautiful as an 8 year old boy could. I hated life by the age of 8...

A few days before my birthday was when It happened, again it was dark and half passed midnight when I heard the most familiar foot steps. I felt my bed shift again because of the weight but instead of the usual touches I was turned over to my stomach and I could feel him taking my pants of me. I could feel his calloused hands running down my sides and a cool liquid at my entrance- IT HURT SO MUCH AND HE WOULDNT STOP!

That night I lost my virginity to my bastard father on an old and piss infected mattress that he had found in an alley, it never left the floor and never had a box spring.

We had nothing of value.

That night I bled out on that mattress and it was like nothing was the same. My father left us after my teacher found out and my mom got a new job, I was diagnosed with cancer 3 months later and Owen never knew.

I never told any one when I was diagnosed or anything about my father. but It didn't stop after the first night, he did it every night for a week before he left us. when ever anyone asked about him I would go silent and completely still. but growing up I was bullied a lot for it, some boys at school found out one day when I started to leak and it spread around the whole school that I was a slut.

That is why by the age of 16 I had a bad boy reputation and I started to date girls to help said reputation.

 

Owen was my hero that day, he immediately called a teacher and got me to the nurse. The boys ran away and my mom was called, I was in the hospital for a week. the doctors put me at bed rest and I couldn't go back to school for a month, but I was happy that me and my mom got the care that was needed.

My mom went back to medical school and became a doctor and after a year she got her own company and made lots of money doing the job she loved. I got better eventually and I had to tell Owen some time, but I held it off until after Owen had already lost his family. I had waited 5 years until I built up the courage and even then I didn't want to tell him.

After the fire my mom took care of us until we found a home for Owen with her friends Joey and Lisa. cancer is a very complicated thing and

We were both too young to go through something like this, and who was I to ruin his childhood. it was already tattered and torn as it was, I didn't need him to know that I was raped too. A year after that I noticed my feelings for Owen and started to drop him subtle hints, like lingering hugs and soft touches, even small kisses on his cheeks.

Owen started to catch on... slightly. soon he started to return the favor sending me flowers and giving me small kisses, since we lived so close and we loved each other so much he would come over everyday and cuddle with me. Owen didn't love me, I knew he couldn't, he hated gay- well disliked them anyway...

Me and Owen met Jesse, a rich boy with no mummy and a busy father.

At the time that we met Jesse, Owen had parents that lived in the middle class and my mummy and I had just became more than two people below poverty. But I was now broken and projecting my feelings into art and laughter.

 

I was cutting to end pain by the age of 10 years old and I never did stop...

Owen's pov~

I froze as I noticed it, cam wasn't responding. I could see fear in his eyes and tears to rival, cam was in shock.

"Cam? babe? CAM?!" I shouted as I shook cams shoulders furiously shook him, he was talking but him expression was blank- he looked so far away. I heard everything he said and I damn near cried half way through, but soon I was holding him and comforting him. I could see him slowly falling from his trance...

"It's okay baby, it's okay... I've got you." I mumbled to him as he gripped my shirt, I was a horrible friend.

"We have to stay strong baby, let no one see us fall. They always take that as a sign of weakness." I whispered into his ear. I could feel eyes on my back but I ignored it for the time being and continued to soothe him. No matter who was watching I would always do the same.

soon cam started babbling apologies, trying to pull away from me. I wasn't going to let him go- ever!

I had Cam's head cradled in my arms and at his chest flush against mine. After standing there and holding him while he sobbed I finally heard him speak, and it made me happy.

"Owen...why do you keep calling me that?" He asked, sounding so innocent and pure. I know he wouldn't understand what I was trying to show him. so I wasn't sure he was 100% prepared for what I did next but I leaned in and connected our lips.

I knew I'd regret what I just did but I was living in the moment and the taste of his soft, cherry flavored lips moving against mine and the feel of his body beneath my hands. But the moment I let him go I knew it would be short lived because he ran...

I don't know why I thought he would do any different, why I thought he would stay...

Cam's pov~

I don't fucking deserve him, I don't deserve any of this. so I ran, I ran away because...

 

 

I'm a coward, a gay fucking coward...

 

 

author's note: the picture on the side is chase


	4. Chapter 4

Jesse's pov

After leaving the office with chase and getting off the hook yet again I made a resolution. I would never let Audrey get the upper hand on me again.

She may seem innocent but she's not alright, that girl was evil to the core and needed to be punished for it, But I didn't believe In getting mad- I got even...

So what should I do to get the little brat back without getting chase mad again? I couldn't just walk up to her and hit her or have someone else do it for me. He would eventually find out and I would get a round two of the party incident.

Don't get me wrong, I want a man putting his hands on me as much as the next guy would. I don't like the thought of someone hitting me and chase is NOT abusive.

 

Chase is one of my best friends- or WAS as I remembered, but he wouldn't hurt me. chase had a big heart and under all that scowling and muscle he was nothing but a puppy in a wolf's body.

Speaking of wolves... I WONDER WHO SAW THE NEW EPISODE OF TEEN WOLF?! I had spent the whole night fangirling about how hot all of them were, and I partially melted when I saw Derek Hale's face appear on my t.v. screen.

Chase was hot but Derek was magnificent, he had everything I could ever need. Derek had a wonderful body and a beautiful face and cute bunny teeth with a big heart and an adorable attitude. Derek loved everyone while Chase dedicated his life to Audrey.

'But at least I got to talk to chase before I left, even thought it didn't start or end the way I thought I would.' I thought as I stood from my seat, chase stood at my side and I found it weird that we stood this close again. I felt his shoulder brush mine as we stood and I remembered how broad his were compared to mine.

The most he's said to me since we entered the office was "I beat you up pretty bad, huh?" and to me it was oddly the most beautiful thing I have ever heard, but of course he ruined it by talking about Audrey and of course I couldn't help but think of Melissa.

I had to look sincere when I apologized to her, chase wouldn't let me live if I didn't but he knew I was faking it. I needed to get him to believe me though so excuse me for being a little dramatic. I tried not to care when he called me a prick, it wounded me and hurt me in many was but I masked my face enough to get through it.

"Don't start with me brooks." I sighed to him because I wasn't in the mood to be ridiculed by him about another girl- I mean a girl...

'Because sure I'm 100% male and I do not want to be anything else.' I once told my dad but now I know I lied. one time I over heard cam talking to Owen and I heard him say. "I'm not gay, I just suck dick!"

Later on in the day he explained to me that he had talked to Owen about calling him gay and Owen agreed not to. now that it's mentioned I did see cam glaring pretty hard at Owen when he called us gay.

I walked down the long halls of Baltimore high, breathing in the smell of the food that was coming from the cafeteria and hearing the sound of white noises and blurred voices. I knew it wasn't my time to eat lunch, we never eat this early and they never get to roam the halls as free as I do.

Soon I come to a stop outside of a pale and white locker that is unlike all the others that are an ugly pale green. My locker was a soft and calming pearl white and I had famous peoples signatures scrawled all over the face of it. I smiled as I saw the names Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson and Tyler Hoechlin near my lock. My locker held food and drinks and even a pair of light pink pumps and a stick of ruby red lipstick- don't ask.

I cant say I don't have class- or ass to match my taste in fashion. so ill just say that I'm fucking fabulous.

I opened my locker and immediately gasped as I saw a small combination of chocolate, roses and a small heart shaped card fell from my locker and landed at my feet. The card fell open as the cool wind from the air conditioner blew and it started to sing a slow and sad like toon, it was the song I listen to when me and chase first met.

The song was king for a day by pierce the veil and kellin Quinn. The inside of the card read ' you rock my world valentine' and the mystery person had scrawled at the bottom...

'Red for the poison that's mixed with suicide. You told me think about it well I did and I don't want to feel a thing anymore. I'm tired of begging for the things that I want, I'm over sleep like a dog on the floor.'

I smiled as I slipped my hand into my pocket again and slid my hand over the cool piece of paper that rested there. The note had been bothering me all day, feeling as if it was burning a whole through my skin.

I want to give it to him tomorrow morning...

But was it too much? the note only said what I felt.

"Dear lion-hearted love,

There is absolutely nothing I would not do for you, my most cherished dove. Your beauty stops me in my tracks. You are a work of art to behold. I love you more than the mountaintops love the horizon. Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. 

My heart is yours forever,  
Jesse"

Was it too much affection for one person, but he gave me things to show his love.

Who ever sent me the card sure as hell made my day and they gave me something to smile about. I knew there a 99.999% chance that chase had made it but I couldn't be sure, I wasn't going to push my luck by confronting him either. I let myself just be thankful for what I did get, maybe I should get him something too. valentines day was tomorrow any ways.

I should add a second present to the letter though, maybe a big pink teddy bear and a necklace? Yeah, maybe I should get that and send him a piece of chocolate cake.

I smiled to myself as I picked up the items and closed my locker, my next class was biology and seats were being change in class, it was already that time of the month...

 

 

SAT's were coming up and we had to stay focused, earlier coach and gotten me confused with one of the other grade levels. but I could understand why, I was rather short for my age and I sported nice, feminine like curves with only a slight amount of muscle.

Every time I saw chase smile at Audrey I felt something in my chest constrict, it was like an anaconda was housed in my chest. I could feel the venom seeping through my veins and it hurt to know I wasn't important, I was nothing without him. I sighed as I passed the gym again and waited for Cam and Owen at the gym doors, they should still be in there- they usually are.

valentines day was the day of love and I had already had my new outfit for tomorrow set aside, tomorrow I would wear a pair of pink skinny jeans with a white shirt that said '-and I love you too,love' on the front.

I even went as far as to get a large leather jacket that was 2x my size with spikes on the shoulders and Tyler Hoechlin's signature on the back.

"Anything for my 'baby'... I'm not obsessed with him, he just makes me feel a little... psychopathic." I think and I smirked at my insight of myself. looking around and down the halls I don't see them coming, any time soon.

"Where are they?" I mumble to my self as I pull out my phone. I called Cam first, he was more likely top pick up than Owen who was a complete asshole when it came to interacting.

Owen never picked up his phone until the second time you called sounded tired through the phone, knowing damn well he was wide awake and ready to have some 'fun' with Cam.

Cam thought I didn't know about his little crush on Owen and vise versa. Owen was in a way blunt about their love, yet still acted like a complete homophobe and cam is still in the trance where he thinks he's straight when he's actually gayer than me.

Like at lunch where cam and Owen sat in the booth across from me giving each other lingering stares and tenderly touch- mostly Owen though. Cam was freaking out at the moment and had trouble breathing, but before I left the school.

I wandered around the school halls for hours, drifting and waiting for the end of the day but I ended up leaving early.

After meeting up at the taco bell and getting smart remarks from children who couldn't mind there own business I finally cracked and went home, grabbing a pizza on my way back home. Standing in line for the pizza was one of the most eventful thing that had happened to me today, even though I had just got sent from the principles office.

At least this valentines day I know someone loves me for the better.

I ate my pizza and quietly sat in my room on the large mattress that I had always taken refuge in, Claire would be home any moment now- But when she made it through that door I was dog chow.

 

My dad had texted me and asked about my day in which I replied with the truth I had gotten a secret admirer and I was damn near head over hills in love with them. For me it was like just the thought of him made me heart start to pound and my knees go weak, they were buckling when ever I heard his name.

"I really need to get over this kid." I sighed to myself as I sat in my dark roo., slumped against the head board of my bed. I had just turned up the heat on the downstairs furnace and looked out the window of the kitchen when I did. It was chilly outside and the wind was all too harsh.  
It was the middle of winter and I was full of pizza, this was the American dream.

That night I sat up in my bed and listened to the sound of my cat, klaine lying at my feet. Stop I slowly drifted off into sleep and let the night and darkness engulf me.

Tomorrow was another day and it was the day I want to come in particular...

 

Because I love him.


End file.
